


You Stole His Happiness, Prepare to Die - DISCONTINUED

by obliviion



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, OR CAN YOU, Rating May Change, SO, Warnings May Change, because then you can't blame all the spelling mistakes on eldritch beings, dark ao3 show me the forbidden scene of someone killing a lynel first try and not dying, does anyone actually read these lol, graphic depictions of severed heads, i wrote this at 3am, like I know he's a sailor but damn wind tune down the cussing a bit, no beta we die like women, not my best work, or lighter, rated T for wind's big potty mouth, realizing you control what happens is kinda scary, sorry i'm rambling, that's literally the entire point of the sequels, the angst may get heavier, the idiot boys meet Ultra-Idiot boy, um, while listening to deathly loneliness attacks, who knows? certainly not the author who controls this entire thing and has it mapped out!, why is "ben solo doesn't turn to the dark side" a tag, wild is going to kill a lynel with a stick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:15:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25414528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obliviion/pseuds/obliviion
Summary: The only friend that's still alive is Zelda, and she's busy rebuilding a kingdom. Wild heads off for a few weeks to try to defeat some monsters, at least, that's what he told Zelda. In reality, he has no intention of returning. But what will happen when the other heroes meet Wild?Yes, the title is a Princess Bride reference. I could not think of something poetic for this.Hi y'all, I'm sorry but this is discontinued, look at Chapter 3 for an explanation
Relationships: Four & Hyrule & Legend & Sky & Time & Twilight & Warriors & Wild & Wind (Linked Universe), Twilight & Wild (Linked Universe)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 176





	1. Who Are You?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi so uh, this is my first time posting here! I wrote a fic about the boys meeting depressed!Wild and trying to help him, which they succeed in because the other alternative is Wild running away and being alone forever and forgetting who he was and I'm not mean enough for that. I have no idea how long this will end up turning out. This is sort of the first chapter with the whole "alright we met a stranger and don't know he's the hero yet! whatever will end up happening??" thing. They find out he's the hero in later chapters whiiich are not uploaded yet because I have yet to write them but they WILL BE SOON. Enjoy this probably very crappy fic that I wrote at midnight sleep-deprived.

The heroes were currently plodding along a dirt road.

That morning they had been in Time’s Hyrule at Lon Lon Ranch when they were transported to an unfamiliar Hyrule. Nobody recognized it, which could only mean one thing: a new hero.

But nobody seemed to know of the hero.

Twilight flung out an arm, scowling. “Up ahead, see? There’s a woman crying by the side of the road.”

“Should we go help her?” asked Wind.

“No. That traveling merchant told us there was a settlement not too far from here, half a day on foot. If she needs help, why not go there instead of waiting for someone to come help her?”

“Oh. You think she’s a bandit?”

“Definitely.” Twilight rested a hand on the hilt of his sword. “Let’s not go near her, it could be an ambush. Let’s go around instead.”

That was met with groans. A detour to avoid the woman would mean they’d reach the settlement by the next morning, probably.

“Hey, it’s not too bad,” Time argued. “Would you rather have it take longer, or deal with an ambush?”

After a few complaints they struck out east, away from the woman, going off-trail. That meant splashing through puddles that soaked their shoes and weaving through odd, giant tower-like structures. Night was falling when they saw someone else.

“Hey!” Legend called out. “Know how much farther it is to the settlement?”

Twilight warily studied the man. He was seventeen, maybe eighteen at most. He wore a blue tunic and a black hood, and had a sword strapped across his back.

The stranger turned to them and nodded. “If you head northwest you’ll reach it in an hour. Be careful, night falls quickly.” He cast a gaze over them. “Although you could probably fight off a Stalkoblin with all those weapons.”

“Thanks. Where are you headed?”

“The stable. There’s a Lynel I need to kill.”

Legend snapped to attention. “A Lynel?! That’s…You’re going to kill a lynel!”

“Yeah, it’s a weak one. If you know where you’re headed, then I should go kill it.” He turned and strode away, leaving Legend gawking after him and the others very confused.


	2. Hey, I'm A Lynel And This is Crazy, But You're a Hero, So Decapitate Me Maybe?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember Wild going to go fight a lynel? Yep. That's just this chapter. The lynel fight. Basically Legend and Wild kick a lynel's ass. that's it that's the chapter.
> 
> trigger warnings: graphic depictions of violence and a severed head, wind's dirty dirty mouth which only appears for like five seconds at the very end but gets its fair share of cussing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi so um, I wrote this at like midnight so sorry for any errors! please let me know if you find any spelling mistakes or stuff like that, much appreciated! to anyone who bothers to read this, thank you!!!!!!!!! also italics machine is broken so sorry abt that :( also warning, this chapter has graphic descriptions of severed heads. read at your own risk. And do NOT read if you tend to get really squeamish with descriptions of blood and guts and eyes.
> 
> enjoy?

“Uhh, Legend?”

“Yeah?”

Four frowned. “What’s a Lynel, and why are you so freaked out?”

“A Lynel is a terrifying beast that breathes a wake of fire at you if it even notices you! It wields powerful weapons and can maim you with a single hit.”

“So why’s he fighting it then?!”

Legend raised one shoulder in a shrug. “Maybe it’s terrorizing the stable? He’s an idiot then! Does he have a death wish or something?”

“We should help,” Twilight said quietly. “Come on, let’s follow.”

They walked after the stranger from a distance. They neared a settlement of some sort as night fell.

“Oh! That must be the stable,” Four said. “We’re close then!”

“Yeah,” Legend said with a nod. “Where’s the Ly—“

He was cut off by a roar.

A beast galloped into sight. It had the body of a horse, and the top half of what looked like could have once born some resemblance to a man. It had black skin and thick arms with dirty yellow claws. A wild red mane shrouded its head, huge ridged horns protruding out of it. Stubby teeth (fangs?) showed from under its lip, but the most terrifying thing about it was its eyes.

Legend would never get used to the sheer terror of their eyes.

Two beady eyes glowed like emeralds in the dark, radiating anger and malice. He swore he could feel the malevolence even from where he stood. 

To their credit, the other heroes didn’t turn tail and run, even as the lynel removed a huge spear and sword from its back that could slice them in half with one hit.

The other man didn’t run either. Instead, he slung his shield onto one arm and took a sword from its sheath. Legend appreciated the man’s courage, but seriously, he was going to get himself killed. The sword might’ve been dangerous against a regular moblin or bokoblin, but against a lynel, it seemed tiny.

The Lynel roared again and charged.

The man backflipped out of the way as it swung its sword. Time seemed to slow.

There was no way it should be possible. It was too short a window, the seconds slipping away before Legend would have had a hope of attacking. But the man ducked underneath the sword, his own clanging against the lynel.

Clang. Clang. Clang.

It was a mess of swordstrikes and blood. Finally, time seemed to speed up again and the man - Legend had decided to call him Reckless - stepped back.

Legend charged in to help.

Reckless spun around, eyes widening, before the lynel lunged and he was forced back to the battle, dodging the strike and firing a volley of arrows at its face. It slumped over, blood pouring down. Legend could see gouges from the arrows, but didn’t think, running forwards and slicing into its hide.

The stranger jumped onto its back and the lynel started bucking. How he held on, Legend had no idea. Sheer willpower, probably. He hefted a huge sword and began the grisly business of carving into the lynel’s back.

Together they tag-teamed it. Legend fell into a rhythm, predicting attacks. The lynel was pretty predictable, and Legend got a good grasp on what it was going to do.

However, he was not prepared for the fireballs.

He was about to run forwards and attack when the lynel opened its mouth and started breathing out a wake of fire.

Oh, right….I forgot about this. Well. This sucks.

He ran out of the way, expecting Reckless to do the same. Nope. Apparently, the stranger had a death wish.

Because instead of just running out of the way like a normal person, he pulled out a shield.

To his credit, the shield was metal, but seriously, how was a shield going to protect him from literal fireballs?

What happened next broke the laws of physics and Legend’s brain.

The stranger held up the shield and waited for the first fireball to hit. When it did, he bashed his shield outwards like he would to hit an enemy.

Wait. What. The. Fuck. Is…he trying to parry. Did he just try to parry a fireball. What the actual fuck does he not know how a parry works?!

Apparently he did. And apparently, physics worked differently in this Hyrule. There was no logical way you should be able to parry a fireball. However, by some divine miracle, the stranger shot the lynel’s fireball back at the monster using nothing but a shield.

Yep. Okay. Legend’s brain and the laws of physics were officially broken.

The stranger didn’t even blink before moving back into battle, and Legend joined him.

A few more attacks to the Lynel and Reckless somehow managing to gouge out its eyes (which was not a pleasant sight, seriously, lynel eyeballs rolling around on the ground are disgusting. Legend slipped on one) and the stranger shot it with arrows, stunning it.

Again, the lynel slumped to the ground, and Reckless jumped on its back. Instead of carving into its hide, he reached up and carved a huge gash in its head. He grabbed a huge sword from...somewhere...and sliced into its neck.

He hacked at it a few times, the lynel screaming in anguish, before the neck finally gave way. Its head rolled onto the ground, tongue lolling, covered in blood, empty eye sockets staring up at Legend. Gross.

The lynel reared once before falling to the ground and dissipating in a pile of black ash. The head, thankfully, disappeared with it, because Legend did not want to deal with that.

The stranger picked up the abandoned weapons, slinging them onto his back despite the fact that he should not have been, realistically, able to lift them. “Are you okay?”

Legend nodded.

Wind chose that moment to run forwards, eyes wide with shock and awe.

“What the fuckity fuck was that?! You just beat the shit out of a motherfucking creature like eight fucking times your size what the fuck—“

“Wind, language!” Legend yelped, but the small smile sneaking onto the stranger's face didn't go unnoticed by either hero.


	3. Sorry y'all this is discontinued

Hey guys, so I'm really sorry, but I'm not gonna be working on this anymore. School and anxiety has put me through a lot of stress and I need to focus on IRL stuff. I may update this if I get a random burst of inspiration at 2am, but aside from that, I will not be working on this anymore. Thank you for your comments and kudos, they really made me feel a lot better abt my work <3

**Author's Note:**

> Alright so I know this is kinda short and it sorta sounds like I rushed it but I promise. It will make sense as to why I did that. I hope. actually it may not! if you read the tags kudos to you. I plan on blaming any spelling mistakes on the eldritch gods, fyi.


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